All About Shiva
What is Shiva?
Shiva is a week-long mourning process that begins immediately following the burial of a loved one. It typically takes place at the home of the deceased or the home of an immediate family member. During this time, mourners do not work or participate in other community events. Instead, they stay at the Shiva home for the duration of Shiva. The purpose is to be free of distractions so you can focus on the loss and begin to heal.
While the basic guidelines for Shiva have been followed for centuries, it is becoming more common for families to not observe Shiva as strictly. Depending on the family’s level of observance or the deceased’s wishes, many families may only sit Shiva for one to three days. Also, because many families are spread out and live in different cities, it is quite common to for Shiva to occur simultaneously at different homes of the family.
If you planning to sit Shiva and mourn the loss of a loved one, we have created a helpful guide and checklist for preparing the Shiva home.
What to Bring to Shiva
Preparing for Shiva requires much attention to detail. The person responsible for coordinating Shiva should ensure that they are able to fully devote the level of attention needed in the short period of time they have. There are many items that need to be accounted for leading up to and throughout the Shiva. Some of these items must be purchased and others may be borrowed.
One of the first and most important steps is determining how many people will be sitting Shiva and for how long. If your family is only planning to sit Shiva for a few days, the coordinator needs to adjust accordingly so that they do not gather excess food or products that are not needed. Once these details have been accounted for, the coordinator can begin to organize the items needed. For this guide, we have split products between food and non-food items that are needed.
Sitting Shiva Food
- Hard-boiled eggs for seudat havara’ah
- A meal for the family upon returning from the cemetery
- Enough food for three meals per day for each family member for the duration of Shiva
- Food platers to put out during visiting Shiva hours
- Decaffeinated coffee
- Hot water and decaffeinated tea bags
- Milk
- Sugar and sweetener
- Non-dairy creamer
- Cold beverages
- Disposable plates and cutlery
- Napkins/paper towels
- Ice and a cooler or large bucket
- Containers for leftovers
Non-Food Related Items
- Candles
- Toilet paper for bathrooms
- Hand towels for bathrooms
- Tissues
- Garbage bags
- Hangers or coat rack for guests’ coats
- Sheets/pillowcases to cover mirrors
- Sign in book and pen
- Prayer books
Shiva Planning Checklist
There is much more to preparing a Shiva home than simply organizing the food and items that are needed. The following checklist should help you make sure that every detail is accounted for when preparing a Shiva home.
- Decide upon the location, duration, and family members participating in Shiva
- Plan times for guests to visit and time reserved for family members
- Coordinate food and items needed for Shiva
- Receive any deliveries while the family is at the cemetery
- Prepare or order food to be served during Shiva for family and guests
- Plan what to do with any leftover food
- Contact employer about the loss and a schedule for when you will return
- Cancel or reschedule any important appointments scheduled during Shiva
- Clean and prepare the house
- Cover any mirrors with sheets or pillowcases
- Set up tables and seating
- Set up guestbook
- Coordinate parking for guests
- Notify neighbors of expected guests and increased traffic
- Coordinate with your temple, rabbi, or clergy about performing a service
Contact Us to Learn More
If you have any questions about Shiva or would like further assistance with preparing a Shiva home, please feel free to contact us. A member of our staff would be happy to answer any questions you might have and offer further assistance.